What Is Love?

As Valentine's Day approaches lots of people are talking about love.

I've mentioned in the past that one of my college Psychology professors gave us this definition of love: "When the happiness and well-being of another is essential to one's own happiness and well-being a state of love exists."

In some respects that is correct. Physical attraction or social status are often mistaken for love in our culture and there's a lot more to it than that.

But the more I think about the professor's definition the more I notice the big flaw in it.

If a certain boss is unhappy or unwell he might be unpleasant to the employees or even fire them, so his happiness and well-being is essential to theirs, but they probably don't love him.

And just think of all the kids who kiss in with bullies and act like their friends just for self protection.

Or abusive spouses and parents who hurt others deliberately if they aren't given what makes them happy. Do their victims really love them?

Obviously real love involves caring about the person's welfare, but it also includes some sort of pleasure in the company and/or communication with the other person.

It means wanting their happiness and well-being for their benefit, not just for our own.

How would you define love?

Love

People without spouses or sweethearts tend to feel left out on Valentine's Day, but they don't need to. Saint Valentine's Day, as it was originally called, wasn't intended as a celebration of romance.

One of my college professors told us a definition of love that I've never forgotten. "When the happiness and well-being of another is essential to one's own happiness and well-being, a state of love exists."

Of course romantic feelings and physical attraction are important because the human race would have vanished long ago if people didn't reproduce.

And sometimes people must do things that make someone they love unhappy, such as parents refusing to give children things they want, or even punishing them. But if those acts are done for the long-term happiness and well-being of the children they are expressions of love.

But on Valentine's Day it's fun to show love by making people we care about happy right now. How will you show your love to others?

Christmas Love

Christmas is a time to celebrate love, both God's love for us and our love for each other. But what does that mean?

One of my college psychology professors taught us this definition: "When the happiness and well-being of another is essential to one's own happiness and well-being a state of love exists."

Author Gary Chapman says there are five basic ways people communicate love to one another. Those ways, which he calls Love Languages, are: speaking words of affirmation, spending quality time together, giving gifts, performing acts of service, and physical touch such as hugs, handshakes and pats on the back.

( http://www.5lovelanguages.com/ )

As we gather with friends and family during the holiday season we tend to use all five love languages.

If the incarnation shows God's love for us how can we show our love for God?