Marin Junior Theater

I was always a good kid, but in the summers when I performed with Marin Junior Theater I usually played the part of a villain, and loved doing that.

The first year I played the part of Lady Precious Harp from a play called The Land of the Dragon. The play took place in China. I forget the plot and wish I could read the script again but I've searched unsuccessfully for the title online.  The play would probably be considered racist now.

The next year I was the Wicked Witch of the West in The Wizard of Oz. All summer when I saw kids from the theater group downtown they'd call to me, "Hi, Witch!" That always made me feel proud.

The third year I decided to be a good character and became Cinderella's fairy godmother, but that wasn't nearly as much fun as pretending to be bad.

Besides performing in the plays, two of those summers I got to go to San Francisco with the other main characters and appear on the local TV Channel 5 to publicize the plays. I was famous! Well, sort of.

A few years ago I realized nearly all the other kids who got important roles in the plays had mothers who were active as volunteers for Marin Junior Theater. Maybe I was a good actress to always get big parts even though my mother wasn't involved. She had a day job because she was widowed, so maybe the other women who ran the group just felt sorry for me.

Tech Stuff

I consider myself a techno-idiot, but I do things with technology I couldn't have imagined doing a few decades ago. Technology has become part of our daily lives and it's everywhere from computers, tablets and cellphones to alarm clocks and heating systems.

And today's kids are absolutely addicted to their technological devices.

That's not necessarily bad, but it has some important disadvantages.

Decades ago I read a library book that had been published in the 1940s or 50s. I can't remember the author or title, but some of the content has stayed with me.

The book said back in Victorian times when ladies protected their skin from the sun upper class girls often didn't reach puberty until about 15 years old. The author referred to the song, Sweet Sixteen and Never Been Kissed, as an example. But, he said, lower class girls who often worked out in the fields reached puberty at around 12 or 13. But he said because kids at the time the book was written spent so much time watching television, and the light in the rays coming from TV screens was the same frequency as sun rays, kids would be reaching puberty earlier.

I don't know how valid his idea was, but today's kids are spending hours every day with their faces close to devices that emit the same kind of light rays. And it's not unheard of now for girls to reach puberty when they're eight years old.

Of course we've all heard of the problems getting kids to pay attention to other things when they're busy texting, and they often communicate that way with people standing near them.

Technology has given us wonderful advantages, but it also has some disadvantages.

Leaf Writing

When I was a kid some friends and I discovered a way to leave secret messages for each other. We would scratch words onto the underside of a green leaf with a stick. When the leaf dried the message would disappear so only someone who saw it while it was fresh could read it.

We felt clever to have figured out how to do that and it fit in well with the sort of things we played.

Back then kids were free to "go out and play" with others in the neighborhood without adult supervision so, unlike modern kids, we used our imaginations and pretended things for many years. We might be cowboys, space explorers, animals, kings and princesses, pirates, or any number of other things.

I was lucky to live on a hill in a small town where we could climb trees, swing from ropes, throw pebbles in the creek, or run up and down our curving, one-way street without fear of traffic.

It's sad that today many older children only feel free to use their imaginations by playing video games because adults are always supervising them.

Of course there are still some kids who have discovered the fun of getting carried away into stories by reading books. And I hope the writing on the leaves of books won't ever disappear.

Culture Shock

Culture shock means the feelings of disorientation people experience when they find themselves in a different environment then they're used to. The term originally referred to the experience of someone moving to a foreign country. But similar feelings of disorientation may happen when kids start a new school, move to a different place, or have a change in their immediate family such as a sibling going away to college, a grandparent or step-parent moving in, or a new baby being born.

As adults we experience culture shock on a small scale all the time because the world we live in has had more changes in the last twenty years than it used to have in a matter of centuries. Do you remember a time before most people had personal computers? Before people on space stations were heard of? When all telephones were on land lines?

And in our current society changes are coming even faster. Have your favorite big-box stores changed their names and owners? Have other businesses you used closed down? Have you or people close to you had to find new jobs or leave their homes? Have you learned the car you've driven for a long time may be unsafe?

It's normal under those circumstances for people to cling to whatever is still familiar and refer to the way things used to be, perhaps even to an extreme degree. But, as we become used to the new normal, it will be possible for us and our children to release our hold on the past and move on.

Feet and Shoes

Did your mother keep your first pair of shoes all her life? Many did and still do. Baby shoes are cute and remind us how tiny our kids once were.

As they grow older, children's feet grow amazingly fast, and new shoes are often a necessity. We may choose them for practical reasons or to look nice for special events. As kids grow older, they may need certain kinds of shoes to go with uniforms or as status symbols, and things like dancing lessons and sports require certain kinds of shoes.

Unlike other clothes, hand-me-down shoes from older kids aren't a good idea unless they weren't worn much because each person's feet are unique and the shoes would have changed to fit the child who previously had them. Parents must spend a lot of money on shoes, but it's important to do it because shoes that don't fit well can be painful.

Before babies are born they grow from the top down, but children grow from the bottom up. We noticed ours would first outgrow their shoes, then pants would get too short. Next their shirts and jackets would become too small and, finally, we'd have to replace glasses and hearing aid earmolds because those no longer fit. Then the child's shoes would get too small and we'd know the cycle was beginning all over again.

I've heard that old shoes hung on a power line indicate a location for drug deals, but I choose to see them in a positive light and let them remind me of the many shoes my children wore over the years and the cute little feet they once had.

Orphans from Haiti

Today we have a special guest. Children’s author, Nicole Weaver, has started a blog,

http://support4usparentsofhaitianorphans.blogspot.com to help families who adopt children from Haiti. Weaver moved to America from Haiti as a child herself, and still has friends and family there.

Please tell us about your blog and why you started it.

I started my blog because I want to be able to help the American parents adopting Haitian orphans.

What was it like for you as a child in Haiti?

My father was an architect, life was not bad. I lived near the beach in a house that my build. I eventually moved to New York, to live with my mother.

Was it difficult for you to adjust to living in America? What was the hardest thing about it?

Yes and no, I had to get used to the cold, and had to learn a new language. The hardest thing about coming to America was the constant teasing my classmates subjected me to. I knew very little English; consequently I was teased a lot and was called “French Toast”

What do you think will be most difficult for the children who come to America from Haiti after the earthquake?

Adjusting to a new climate and language, new way of eating, being totally lost not understanding fully what happened to their parents.

What do you suggest adoptive parents do right away to help them adapt?

I suggest for them to hook up with other Haitians in their communities. Here in Colorado we have a very strong Haitian community. We have monthly functions, where everyone brings a Haitian dish to share. There are a few Americans who have adopted Haitian children; we support them in every way possible. That is precisely the reason I started my blog, to make myself available for these wonderful people with so much compassion.

If American kids have Haitian orphans in their schools or neighborhoods, how can they help?

Be friendly to them, help them learn English; accept them for who they are.

Haitian Support from the Depths of Despair

From the depths of despair one woman has risen out of her own grief for her perished relatives in the Haiti earthquake. Knowing her strong held faith in praying for those who died will help the spiritual side of this disaster, Nicole Weaver, has turned her helplessness into action.

Fluent in Creole, French, Spanish, and English Ms. Weaver is reaching out to American families who are contemplating adoption of Haitian orphans. Knowing the vast differences of American and Haitian cultures first hand being a Haitian American herself, Weaver is offering support through her blog http://support4usparentsofhaitianorphans.blogspot.com as a one stop resource to make the transition of a Haitian adoption go smoothly as possible.

American families are offered detailed information on:

• Planning and preparing Haitian meals, including where to purchase Haitian foods.

• Lessons on how to learn Creole and French.

• Suggested books on the grieving process of losing a parent/parents/siblings.

• Free translation services.

Additional services for those living in the Denver, Colorado Metropolitan area, Weaver is offering in-person food preparation and babysitting services to assist further in making an adoption transition a success. If you don’t reside in the Denver Metropolitan area, Weaver is offering consultation via telephone, email, or Skype.

Visit http://support4usparentsofhaitianorphans.blogspot.com today for more information and to be in contact with Nicole Weaver directly.

(I've mentioned some things about how children deal with traumatic experiences on my other blog, http://janetanncollins.blogspot.com and hope that information may be helpful to adoptive parents.)

Thanking Teachers

Several people who left comments about my last post suggested thanking the wonderful teachers they'd had. Please do that. Hearing from past students they'd helped will mean a lot to the teachers.

Mrs. Griffith, the teacher who had taught us the poem I mentioned (and many other things,) is a good example. She had been strict and demanding, but also kind and caring and we all knew she loved us. In fact when we lined up to enter or leave her classroom no child was allowed through the door without a hug. (Yes, that would be illegal today.) We were her second generation of students and she'd taught the parents of some kids in our class.

When I was in my 20s and started working with kids I found her address in the phone book and wrote her a note about how much I appreciated her. More about 15 years after that my mother phoned me and said something I'd written was in the newsletter the school district sent to everyone in the area. It was the letter I'd written, published next to Mrs. Griffith's obituary. The letter I'd sent meant so much to her that she had treasured it for the rest of her life.

So if you remember teachers who helped you a lot and can find contact information, please thank them before it's too late and encourage your kids to do the same.