Flag Day

Today in the USA it's Flag Day.

When I was a kid the American flag only had 48 stars, so you can tell I'm old.

In school we saluted the flag as we said the Pledge of Allegiance and sang America the Beautiful every morning. (The Star Spangled Banner required greater voice range than most kids had.)

Many schools still say the pledge, but public schools, at least those in my state, no longer allow a song that mentions God because of separation of church and state.

Back then we were taught that the American flag should never be up outdoors after dark, or during rain or snowy weather. Schools, Girl and Boy Scouts and military bases had flag raising and lowering ceremonies at the beginning and ending of each day.

The reason flags were lowered when it was dark or stormy is because they were made of fabrics like cotton and would become damaged easily. When synthetic materials like polyester became available flags made of those things could be safely left outside in all kinds of weather. That's why they don't get lowered and raised all the time anymore.

But one tradition should be kept and often isn't. We were taught that the American flag should never be allowed to touch the ground. Of course aflag should be kept clean and touching the ground, even on pavement or floors, it's likely to gather dirt.

After the terrorist attack of September 11th, 2001 millions of Americans displayed flags. I was sorry to see lots of them draped over the hoods of parked cars and trucks with the edges dragging in driveways, and displayed in other places where they would get dirty.

Flags that are torn or dirty shouldn't be displayed. That's basic manners.

Bathroom Manners

As I mentioned in a previous post http://onwordsblog.blogspot.com/2009/10/medieval-manners.html
many of our customs such as shaking hands began because of cultural things in the past.

One thing I didn't mention is keeping toilet lids down. That obviously originated because of the need to reduce odors in chamber pots and outhouses.

Now that California is having a severe drought and people are trying to reduce water usage by flushing less often we're rediscovering the practicality of that custom.

But ever since indoor plumbing was invented it has always been considered polite for men to lower toilet seats after relieving themselves and that is not just to be polite.

When I was a little girl I got up in the middle of the night to go to the bathroom and my brother hadn't put the seat down. I sat down in the dark and fell into the toilet. Landing in cold water in the middle of the night is not a pleasant experience. I couldn't help screaming and woke my mother, who made sure my brother remembered always to lower the seat from then on.

Lots of things we consider a matter of manners really do have practical purposes.

Stinking

Long ago I knew a nice, middle-aged gentleman who was sad never to have married, but women never seemed to be interested in him. Like everyone else who knew him, I was too embarrassed to tell him his breath always smelled terrible. If only I had, he would probably have been grateful, but telling people they stink isn't considered polite in our society.

A more common problem is the horrible smell on people who smoke. Since I have asthma I avoid anyone I see smoking, but can't always predict who will have the tobacco odor in their clothes and hair until I get close enough to be effected.

People who smoke have no idea they always smell like dirty ashtrays because their noses are used to the odor. Usually their homes stink, too since the odor is absorbed into the curtains, upholstery, and even walls. Some of that happens even if they smoke outdoors because it's carried in on their clothes. And it's not polite to admit that I must refuse an invitation to visit someone because their home stinks, so instead I make up excuses.

Interestingly, some of those people have Asthma, Emphysema, lung cancer or COPD themselves, but they keep lighting up. That concerns me because one of my family members died of emphysema after years of smoking and it wasn't a pleasant experience.

According to the CDC, over 20% of adults in the USA are smokers and people I know who are in recovery from other addictions say tobacco is by far the hardest addiction to recover from. Maybe if the rest of us told everyone who smokes that they stink at least fewer people would be tempted to start the habit.

Medieval Manners

Although our culture isn't as careful about things like manners as it used to be, most parents usually try to teach their kids to have good ones. Perhaps it might interest children and help them remember to be polite if they knew where many of our customs come from.

For example, in the Middle Ages people believed that when someone sneezed their soul came out of their body until they inhaled again. During that crucial moment an evil spirit might get in and possess the sneezer unless someone said, "God bless you."

A lot of our manners are based on war.

We no longer kneel or bow except in limited situations. Back then bowing was a way of showing submission and trust because doing so gave another person the opportunity to attack the one who was bending over by hitting them on the head or even cutting it off .

Knights in armor wore helmets, and removing them was a sign that they were not intending to defend themselves. That's why men removed, or later tipped, their hats when meeting a lady or a man they respected, or entering a church or the home of a friend.

But even homes were not always safe places in those days. When tables were set a sharp knife was placed on the side near the right hand, which was dominant for most people. The knife was used for cutting food, but available in case a fight broke out.

And men would extend, join, and shake their right hands to show that they weren't going to use a weapon.

Even saying "Please," which is short for the phrase, "If you please," showed submission because people in positions of power would simply command others to obey them while everyone needed to ask equal and superior people if they were willing to do something.

Although most people aren't aware of the origins of such traditional behaviors we still do them. I wonder how much longer things like that will continue to be used in our culture.