Starting School

The first day of school can be both a positive and negative experience for kids. While it's fun to re-connect with friends they haven't seen over the summer, it's always a little scary to have new teachers and not know exactly what to expect. Starting a new school is the scariest thing of all.

There are lots of books for little kids about the first day of school and I read many of them to my grandson before he entered preschool. His first day went smoothly because he knew what to expect and the teacher was impressed with how well he adjusted. But the second day wasn't so good. He had no idea there would be a second day and even more after that.

When I was a little kid I had to enter new schools several times after the school year had already begun and everyone else had already gotten used to the routine and knew the teachers and each other. That was very scary for me.

But being new is probably harder for older kids because the social hierarchy has already established and they have to deal with bullies. Here's a website that can help a lot with the bullying problem. www.bullies2buddies.com  While the techniques suggested here are different than those suggested in many bully prevention programs and may not always be successful, I've seen them work many times.  I think it would be a big help to kids starting new schools or a new school year to know about them.

Bullies #4

After my last three posts you're probably tired of hearing about bullies, but I have one more important thing to share.

A while back I discovered this website, http://www.bullies2buddies.com and realized the principles suggested there are the things I had experienced. The idea is that bullying is like a game and if the bully gets someone upset he or she wins. There had been many times in my life, especially when I was a kid, when bullies got me upset and won the game, but the few times I'd reacted as this website suggests, the bullies left me alone. I guess those times I'd won.

I strongly suggest anyone dealing with bullies, and that includes verbal ones, check out the information at www.bullies2buddies.com.

Bullies

This may be a bit controversial but I highly recommend the methods suggested in the free, downloadable books at www.bullies2buddies.com for handling problems with bullies. Although no method works 100 percent of the time, I've seen this one work on several occasions. It applies to both kids and adults (all bullying isn't physical) and I hope anyone who is a victim or knows kids who are will consider trying it.

Teasing

Teasing can be a form of bullying.

As a child I was teased constantly because I was skinny. (Even as an adult I sometimes got rude comments about that, mostly from people who were overweight.)

The other kids in grade school didn't mention my asthmatic wheezing, which could usually be heard all over the classroom, but that's probably why they were uncomfortable around me. I thought of myself as the class victim and it never occurred to me that I, too, was a bully.

No, I never physically hurt anyone or threatened to do so, but I often "defended" myself by making sarcastic comments or said things laden with sarcasm because I thought they were funny. Looking back, I realize I must often have hurt the feelings of other kids.

Although I can scarcely remember the physical threats made against me, most of which never actually happened, I can still remember some of the nasty comments my classmates made. And I'm afraid some of them might remember similar things I said to them.

A while ago I mentioned a website that gives wonderful advice about how to deal with bullies. On rare occasions in my childhood and as an adult I'd used the tactics suggested there and can vouch for the fact that they do work. I strongly recommend http://www.bullies2buddies.com.

As an adult I try hard never to say things that might hurt someone else's feelings because I don't want to be a bully. And if someone says things like that to me, I know how to react.