Bullies 2 Buddies

Most kids either have been bullied, know someone who gets bullied, or are bullies themselves. Sometimes all three apply to the same kid in different situations.

I'm a great fan of Izzy Kalman's suggestions on how to handle bullying because I've seen his methods work in my own life.

Kalman is Jewish, but he bases his method on the teachings of Jesus. Kalman believes, and has evidence to show, that turning the other cheek really does work.

Tattling or seeking revenge just make the bullies try harder to dominate whoever does those things. Of course in a severely dangerous or possibly life threatening situation it's sensible to get help, but most of the time simply acting like what the bully does doesn't matter is the best way to handle him or her. (And, yes, some bullies are girls.)

It means they've lost the game.

Bullies are people who need to make others feel bad in order to feel good about themselves. If they don't get the reaction they want from a victim they'll try harder for a while, but then they'll give up on bothering that person.

And bullying isn't just physical or only something that happens between kids. Adults can be mean to others in many ways.

If you know anyone dealing with bullies I recommend checking Kalman's website for helpful information. Here's the link: http://bullies2buddies.com

Bullies

I was six years old when my father died. One of the bullies at school told me, "He probably died on purpose just to get away from you."

That was only the beginning of the tormenting and bullying I experienced through most of my childhood. Most of the time the attacks weren't physical, but words can really hurt you.

I tried tattling, trying to avoid the bullies, or saying mean things back, but nothing seemed to help.

One Saturday a tough girl in our neighborhood shoved me down on the sidewalk, sat on my chest, raised her fist, and said she was going to "punch my lights out."

For some strange reason instead of reacting with fear or anger I calmly explained to her that the reason she had no friends at school was because she was a bully, and if she would be nice then people would like her.

She got up, walked away, and never bothered me again.

I've seen that sort of reaction to bullying work in other situations, too.

The website, http://bullies2buddies.com explains why. The person in charge, Izzy Kalman, is Jewish, but he bases his information on how to handle bullies on the teaching of Jesus Christ to turn the other cheek.

There might be exceptions, but that method is far more likely to have good results than tattling or fighting back, so I certainly think it's worth trying.

Except, of course, by people who think they know better than Jesus. ;-)