What Is Love?

As Valentine's Day approaches lots of people are talking about love.

I've mentioned in the past that one of my college Psychology professors gave us this definition of love: "When the happiness and well-being of another is essential to one's own happiness and well-being a state of love exists."

In some respects that is correct. Physical attraction or social status are often mistaken for love in our culture and there's a lot more to it than that.

But the more I think about the professor's definition the more I notice the big flaw in it.

If a certain boss is unhappy or unwell he might be unpleasant to the employees or even fire them, so his happiness and well-being is essential to theirs, but they probably don't love him.

And just think of all the kids who kiss in with bullies and act like their friends just for self protection.

Or abusive spouses and parents who hurt others deliberately if they aren't given what makes them happy. Do their victims really love them?

Obviously real love involves caring about the person's welfare, but it also includes some sort of pleasure in the company and/or communication with the other person.

It means wanting their happiness and well-being for their benefit, not just for our own.

How would you define love?

President's Day and Valentine's Day

This year Valentine's Day and Presidents Day are very close together. Believe it or not, they actually have something to do with each other.

Saint Valentine's Day originally had nothing to do with romantic love. It was named for a saint who showed Christian love to others.

As I'vementioned in past years, my college Psychology professor gave us this definition of love: "When the happiness and well-being of another is essential to one's own happiness and well-being a state of love exists."

I don't want to get into politics here, but isn't the happiness and well-being of the American people essential to the happiness and well-being of a president of this country?

That means love must be a job requirement for presidents.

Love

People without spouses or sweethearts tend to feel left out on Valentine's Day, but they don't need to. Saint Valentine's Day, as it was originally called, wasn't intended as a celebration of romance.

One of my college professors told us a definition of love that I've never forgotten. "When the happiness and well-being of another is essential to one's own happiness and well-being, a state of love exists."

Of course romantic feelings and physical attraction are important because the human race would have vanished long ago if people didn't reproduce.

And sometimes people must do things that make someone they love unhappy, such as parents refusing to give children things they want, or even punishing them. But if those acts are done for the long-term happiness and well-being of the children they are expressions of love.

But on Valentine's Day it's fun to show love by making people we care about happy right now. How will you show your love to others?